Showing posts with label Dating. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Dating. Show all posts

Friday, January 21, 2011

Dating The Bad Boy

When it comes to dating there is a trend amongst women that tends to cause us more pain than gain as time goes on. For some internal reason women tend to fight for, seek out, and pin-point the biggest of bad boys. I don’t believe that women are necessarily out to find the men who treat them the worst, but I do see a rolling trend that points toward our incessant need to help, change, and nurture. Sometimes we capitalize on this even when we find someone who needs none of those things.

Some women will find men who are an obvious opposite in comparison to themselves; this is not necessarily a conscious decision more of a decision based on the woman’s need to change others. Other women unconsciously seek out men with ‘issues’; either they drink too much, have a temper problem, they cheat, or they just don’t have the capacity to care for others, but no matter what the ‘issue’ may be for that man the woman seeking him out may find that she has an obscure need to help others. While she may feel that she is doing a good deed in her own mind, by definition she is unintentionally bringing chaos into her own life.

As women we have certain nurturing aspects to our personality. This is instinctual and unintentional but it is certainly a blessing for those we love. Our nature is to assist. Although it is hard to resist our deepest urges when we are looking for a guy, there are specific agendas that we have to learn to separate from our love life. The definition of a perfect guy is one who is there for you as equally as you are for him, he compliments your flaws as you compliment his, and he contributes just as much emotionally, physically, and mentally to the relationship as do you. There is a very apparent equality to relationships.

If a woman finds herself dating an egotistical man then she finds herself dishing out all of the compliments while receiving none. The situations may be different but the concept behind the relationship remains the same. You must find your equal to be truly happy in a dating relationship. If a woman is seeking to fully nurture then she will always find herself in an unfulfilling, immature, or just plain dissatisfying relationship. We must be as mature-minded as the men we wish to date.


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Online Dating Tips

If you decide to try an online dating site like SinglesNet (which is free to try out), then there are a few things you might want to know in order to improve your chances of finding love and happiness.

Be Super Picky

Most women will get messages from tons of guys at online dating sites. If you attempt to respond to everyone, you’ll spend all day and night in front of the computer. Develop a system to determine “interested” or “not interested” within just a few seconds so you don’t have to waste time on guys who aren’t right for you. Online dating is all about efficiency, so don’t waste any time on scrubs.

Be Honest with Pictures

Every guy’s worst online dating nightmare is that the “cutie” he thinks he’s going out with turns out to be a tank. If you’re a little overweight or not the prettiest in the world, that’s okay, but don’t just post the one picture taken of you in the last ten years where you look skinny/hot. Believe me, disappointment is a bad foot to start a relationship off with. You can post “good” pictures of yourself, but just don’t post the dishonest ones!

Try eHarmony instead of Match

If you’re serious about finding a lasting relationship, I’d recommend using eHarmony over Match.com. The reason is that Match tends to attract a lot of men looking for casual encounters whereas eHarmony markets themselves more to the marriage-minded type.

Have Fun!

Online dating is supposed to be fun. It’s pretty crazy when you think about it: you get to filter through tons of available guys in your area all from the privacy of your home computer. Pretty cool, huh? So enjoy it and don’t sweat the small stuff. If you find someone, great, if not, there’s still the old fashioned method of meeting someone in “real life”!


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