Thursday, January 20, 2011

The “Keep A Brother” Baby

All’s fair in love and war is the way a lot of people conduct their relationships of the heart. But they may be doing themselves a great disservice as well as hurting others; even those who are not even here yet.

A woman who purposely gets pregnant to keep her man with her is a trick as old as time. As popular as this tactic is, it has been proven to be unsuccessful time and time again. But the failure rate does nothing to deter women of every age, demographic, and education level, from trying it anyway.

Having a baby is a big step in any relationship, but for some women it’s a last ditch effort to keep the man she loves from leaving her. By the time a relationship is so wrecked that both people are feeling disconnected from each other, it’s pretty much hopeless. And if the man in the relationship is no longer interested in staying in the relationship, usually nothing the woman does will keep him there. But there are two words that can cause him to rethink his decision, and maybe even delay his leaving. When a woman says “I’m pregnant” a man will usually stop dead in his tracks. The little bit of extra time, bought by the shock factor, of the news the man has just received, is just the glimmer of hope that his girlfriend was going for.

Most of the women, who get pregnant towards the end of a relationship, do so, on purpose without the consent of the man they’re with. They even go as far as to lie about using birth control, and even sabotage their boyfriend’s efforts to use protection.
The pregnancy that results from lies and deception to trap a man in a relationship he really wants out of will only drive him further away. The women who use this trick rarely think ahead to what their life will be like as a single mother because they have deluded themselves to the point of seeing the pregnancy as a new beginning. While she is excitedly planning their future, he is feeling more miserable than ever, and is just trying to negotiate the details of how he will leave.

Getting pregnant to keep your man could extend your relationship for nine months more than it would have lasted; but even that may not happen. What you can count on happening is being tied to a man who wanted to be out of your life a long time ago. And being tied to him by the new baby, the two of you now share, will force you to bear witness to his forming new relationships, and possibly having more kids with someone he does want to be with.

The pain you will feel from watching the man you love start a family with another woman, when you believe that it should have been with you instead, will far exceed that of what you would have experienced from breaking up when it could have been clean and easy with no strings attached. It’s much better to let go and start your new life, rather than bringing a new life into a relationship that is already over.


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