Saturday, January 22, 2011

Things That Turn Guys Off

I’m friends with a lot of women who would tell you that getting married is one of their biggest priorities in life. However, I see these same women repeatedly make fairly significant mistakes around the men they date. And after going through guy after guy after guy with little success, they look at me and ask, “I don’t get it, why are there no good guys out there?”

As much as I want to sympathize with these women and help advance their victim mentality, it wouldn’t be doing them much of a service in the long run. So instead, I try to help them understand men so that they can better position themselves as wife material when the next potential suitor comes around. Here are some things that turn most men off. Keep in mind this is just a general list. Not all of these things turn off all men.

Carelessness with sexuality

Men have a hard time respecting women who put out too easily or women who make statements that indicate they are “easy” by nature. If you sleep with a man too quickly or make a lot of sexually charged statements that indicate you’re not very particular about who you sleep with, he isn’t very likely to categorize you as wife material. Keep in mind that to men, marriage is viewed as something of a purchase. In other words, they’re making a big investment in another person, and its an investment they won’t be likely to make if they feel that person could be prone to run off and sleep with someone else on a whim.

Pressuring the relationship

Most guys have a tempo in which they feel comfortable seeing a relationship progress. Try speeding this up with a bunch of serious talks and ultimatums, and you’re likely to turn the guy away. Figure out what he has in mind for the relationship. Realize that trying to change this makes less sense than just trying to find someone else who is more compatible.

Being lame in bed

Sex is pretty important to almost all guys. The goal of sex for most men is to reach climax and ideally help you reach it yourself. If making your man climax isn’t something you are prioritizing, chances are he’ll remain pretty unsatisfied with the relationship.


Men looking for a wife are looking for a loyal companion. It is a big turn off for men when they get the sense from a woman that if things ever started to get a little bit rough that she would bail. It will either consciously or subconsciously make them view you as a leech; you’re around when things are good, but when they’re not, you’re outta there. If you seem disloyal in a general sense, that’s a very bad thing. Examples include running to your Mom or friends to pout and complain about your partner when you’re not getting your way (rather than confronting them to fix the problem), or just generally seeming quick to turn your back on anyone who has done something for you.

Obsessive nagging

Be careful how much you bust balls around a guy you’re dating. No guy wants to put up with someone who is trying to take over their life like some kind of a fascist dictator. If you find yourself compelled to behave this way, try to figure out why. Chances are you have some need to feel more control in your life. You can achieve that in other ways than pestering men: focus more on a career, exercise diligently, get a dog, etc.

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